bndt’s crTVtys™

What an AssH*le !!! great Job Ndry, slow but sure [DAMN straight sure] you know what the truth things now… like u always wanted huh!!
What u perfect day you had!!!

I dunno, is she rarely come by to this blog… one thing i know, she mention about my blog while chated with me at MSN… she said that, she wrote sumthing on my shout box..

After she chated with me, i tell to my self “naah…she kidding at me! she didnt do that… did she?” G ga’ tau apa maksud dia nulis kaya’ gitu? dan yang paling g ga’ ngerti, why she must wearing a spurious nickname?what?!u dont wanna me to know, that you are the person who wrote that?

GodDamnIt !!! I tried to make it, to not go more such complicated-things… but the more i take the effort to it, the more suffering i get !!! i culdnt reach that point, point that i can be so pure trusting her… telling like what she always told to me, everynight… everynight i tried to learn from her.. learn how to become a person, that can make someone else feel grateful that they can talk with kind-of-person-that-they-wanna-talked-to !!!

I’VE TRIED! but I CULDNT catching up the lessons, that actually i didnt asked it from you!!!

DAMN!! wuts wrong with you gurl!!! it just, hey..when i said, i dont know wuts going on that day… im really sure, i cant remember that things!!! why u always pushing me, to that edge..while im strugling to not get step into it !!! i thought, u came to my life are to help me out… but u encourage me slowly to there, dont u realize that?!

B4 we go near to that edge, im trying to reach ur hand… so both of us, wont imagine how deep d’ edge is in front of us!!! i dont know, but d’more hard the effort i make… u always look back, just 4 one person.. that frankly, i even dont wanna know about him!!! from d’ first time i know you, i dont wanna F*cking know his life!!!mostly, i hated when u called his name in d’middle of our conversations… SCREWED WITH IT!!!

U can Called me Jealous!! yup,maybe im definitely jealous to him… DAMN!he such a lucky guy, that i ever heard!!!how much probability, that i can twisted my love-life like he got!!!didnt he realize, wuts going on between both of you? and d’ crazy thing, u have no idea how lucky u are!!!PERFECT !!!

I think, u and him.. need to get talk each other!!!it came from ur story, night after night!!!
well…gudluk, i hope things work out with him…

And once again, i really dont know who the hell d’choosen one??cant figure it out, till this day!!!Geez!!!

eniwey, i cant re-design wut i had! now, all i know is… i dont have a-time-machine to take me, i dont have a good memory to make sure what happened that day when i talked to her… until last night,she pared it one-by-one!dont ask me, is it knocked me! cause its already have, b4 last night!

Since i got conversation with her, i want to heal her sorrow… ’til this day, i just cant wondering “culd her pain, be cured now?”.. until, she said that she happy with her life now.. maybe it means that, she doesnt need me anymore…

sumtimes i feel like know her, and sumtimes i dont…you think everythings is set in ur favor huh?!! but life put many curves in what paths u had…just need a small twist, can bring an entirely different fate 4 us…All those days, i thought u loved me.. but…

Look, im really sorry.. i really cant help it, i thought i was different.. but its clearly im just a helpless boy…i was happy while being with u, im not quite sure if you knew that…now, i cant believe there’s anything i’d say that wuld interesting u, even make u trusting to me…~sighs~

I culdnt endure d’loneliness no more!!!the more i liked u, i felt guilty inside…while the two of us apart, i just want to forget her alone… just wanna see her with d’happiness, far2 away…

I think, i just wasted my time… on stupid thoughts… if we were destined to meet, i thought we’d meet by chance sumwhere or sumhow…

So much memories, that i suldnt know about her… if i know, its gonna ends like this..
she was too precious, for a guy like me to even dream of…
Such a drama, but it isnt!!!just believe me!!

I will never forget you… ‘cause u are d’best friend i ever had… no matter how far, or long life takes me away… i’ll always be thinking about you…’cause you’re d’one, i want to be with…

If u wanna be friends, lets be friends… if that what u really wanted…
I just wish, we can get serious…but, nevermind cause maybe it culd becoming reality..just flying in my imaginary, while im sleep… GodDamn, i just wish wont wake up in that dreams..

Now, maybe “sorry” words doesnt change anything… no more chance i can get…
cause, she already change anything… only a perfect memory of her, that i’ve got!!

So, im sorry.. im really sorry i cant stay next to u, while u need sumone to talk with…
and sorry i loved you, while u already loved sumone else…

ps: i’ve learned from it, when i decided just as friend… and yup, i regret that… i let that moment slip away, and i dont think i’ll ever get it back… and i still learning to dont want to make that same mistake cacthing me twice ever!!!well, maybe sum people are meant to be alone … ^______,^